(Joy in the air, painting for sale, just contact me)
I like to think of myself as a flexible person. A happy, often smiling woman, easily moving and adjusting to any changes in life. Spreading joy to those around her. And I am, i really am. Deep down. In a weird kind of postponed way. Actually in a very delayed way. A kind of “when I sorted out all the pieces it is going to be OK” kind of way. In other words: I am NOT! I don´t easily adjust to changes. I do adjust, but it takes time to let go of my idea of how things should be, often with an inside drama that I best work through alone. I am actually kind of stubborn, even towards myself. I hang on to things even when I know it would make space for much happier feelings to simply let it go.
(Me, photo by Justine Hoegh)
So, there it is: I am a spontaneous, happy, creative, beauty loving and incredibly STUBBORN person. The good thing is, I still love me. I am learning to live with me. I know we all have these bits that sits in the way for our true unfolding, until we learned to deal with them. And I have a sweet compassion toward those parts of me that has such trouble adjusting to sudden changes of plans/life. It has lead me to learn to cope with things inside before shouting about them outside. To be still. Feel what is there, underneath the surface. And simply ask (often in my morningpages book): what is going on? How are you feeling? Why?
(Me and my beloved morningpages process, from last summer when we was still living in a caravan)
I have learned how I can be that friend to myself who understands it all, or more precisely, who can simply sit and BE with what is, even when I don´t understand why it is like that.
I still would love to be able to do that adjustment quicker, to be more calm on the spot, be more at ease with the uncomfortabilities in I run up against in life. I guess I am going to need a full life span here on this planet to live and learn. That´s ok with me, as long as I know I am moving in the right direction.
(Moving balance, signed print available here, painting for sale: contact me)
By the way, I love the lyrics in the song “I won´t give up” by Jason Mraz, and especially toward the end when he sings: “I had to learn what I got and who I am not and who I am” Enjoy if you like!